My wife and I visited the Bristol Balloon Fiesta for a long weekend with my family.  We really enjoy camping and watching the balloons go by, and I made the decision to add extra cheat days so that I could really enjoy myself.  To minimise the damage I knew that I’d have to be strict with myself the rest of the week (which I mostly managed), but it still resulted in a 5.5lb weight gain.

I found it really hard to accept intentionally putting on weight that I have worked so hard to lose

I’m not surprised by the huge gain, the extra cheat days were Thursday and Friday, so three cheats in a row before weighing on #faturday is not going to look good on the scales, plus a lot of alcohol was drunk, which leads to huge water retention.

What I found really difficult though, is the dread I felt even before the cheat days.  I knew I wanted to let loose, but I found it really hard to accept intentionally putting on weight that I have worked so hard to lose.

Although it felt like a backward step, I can justify it easily, occasional breaks are natural, and living like a monk is an unattainable target, but it still messes with my head, in fact I struggle to really understand exactly what I’m feeling.  Is it disappointment in myself?  Shame maybe?  I don’t think it’s as simple as being disappointed in the weight gain, it feels like some sort of failure I guess.

It’s probably a useful feeling to some degree.  I don’t want to be cavalier about extra cheat days, in that direction fatness lies.  So although I want to overcome this mental block and embrace some cheating, I must be mindful not to let “I can cheat for my birthday” become “it’s Friday, lets celebrate!”.

Which end of the spectrum are you?  Do you struggle allowing yourself to enjoy an occasion, or is it challenging to stop yourself from creating occasions to justify cheating? Share in the comments below

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